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The idea of spallation of the heart

I was reading through a physics book one night and came across the word “spallation.” Ha! I am married to a rocket scientist (truly) and he never mentioned this process to me. I began to read more on this subject and the result of that reading is the poem below. Survive is very personal to me and for me. In so many ways, words have been used against me to discredit things that I have, or have not done, and frankly… well, negative people will almost always be negative even if they are smiling when they say it. I choose light! It is the best way to walk without falling. KC.

Spallation is a process in which fragments of material (spall) are ejected from a body due to impact or stress (Wikipedia).

Google defines Spallation

spall·a·tion
spôˈlāSHən/
noun
noun: spallation
  1. 1.
    Physics
    the breakup of a bombarded nucleus into several parts.
  2. 2.
    Geology
    separation of fragments from the surface of a rock, especially by interaction with a compression wave.
Survive ~ Kim Cline2018
Talking of things you know not of
Using the expression “On the tip of the tongue”
Reality is captured
Like a caged, wild animal is contained but not tamed
Words used to express one’s superiority over another
Become the augmentation of air—whereas
Words hit their mark resulting
In spallation of the heart gain a critical advantage
Increasing power over the wild creature contained
But when the wild is loosed from its box
The power paradigm shifts
Overtakes and strips bare the contrived
Without a sword
Without a whim
Sheer will to express the deeply ingrained intuition
Survive

The process of grief

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” 
― William Shakespeare, Macbeth

The five stages of grief, as explained by psychiatrist, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Healing and loss speaker, David Kessler, has gone on to add a sixth stage of grief – meaning.  My thoughts on this 6th stage to grief is that we all want “meaning” when we have gone through a loss, or a perceived loss. We all want understanding. 

The length and levels of this theoretical, systematic process vary. Each individual will (and should) invariably go through some level of grieving over each actual loss, or each perceived loss. I say “perceived loss” because the pain experienced can be just as real when you “think” you have lost something or someone permanently through death or destruction. This may not be the case. Possibly, someone has temporarily removed themselves from your life, and they later get in touch with you to reconnect. Or, you may have misplaced a valuable object and weeks later find it. These scenarios can seem permanent at the time, and may trigger the stages of grief. It is still a feeling of loss to you, even if it is remedied later on.

I highly recommend that people seek out professional help with their grief process.

When a child loses a toy, or has a toy jerked from her hands by another child, and she is unable to retrieve it, she may go into a process of grief. Every stage might not be exhibited in the precise order that most text books list, but there will be a display of emotional levels.  I believe that each person will go through a necessary grieving process, unless that person stymies it with the dark ink of bitterness.

In truth, there is no “end” to the grieving process when you have lost a loved one.  Early in the grief process, grief can act like a sinkhole that deepens and widens with each recount of the “incident.” The pain surrounding the loss of a loved one may slightly lessen years down the road, but the memory of that loss seems to stay with most people for the rest of their lives. I have talked with people who have prematurely lost a loved one. They have expressed that they are always aware that their loved one is gone, and they are always aware of a sense, or feeling of loss in their emotions.

When you are stymied in the grief process by bitterness, the ink of that bitterness frames and floods the remembrance surrounding the loss. Bitterness can poison the entire process and keep you in a stage of grief for years beyond what is normal, and again, I use the word “normal” lightly.

I have had conversations with people that experienced loss, and I could still see the bitter anger on their face – twenty years after the incident of loss. The daily torment of bitterness takes a toll on the health and well-being of a person. Don’t let bitterness stymie the process of grief and grief recovery. Seek help from a professional.

National Helpline for substance abuse and mental health 1.800.662. 4357 (HELP)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline 1.800.273.8255

Solace

We search for reasons after a loss, or perceived loss. “Why” becomes the question of a lifetime.

After the stages of grief have been dredged through (some stages can last for awhile), we can find some solace in beauty.

Beauty allows the emotions to focus, if only briefly, on something other than “why.”

Look for beauty around you, and allow yourself time to linger in that presence and relax for a moment.

Refreshing the soul

Beauty is a necessary part of humanity. We need beauty to speak to our emotions. Beauty to the soul is like water poured out on parched earth. Beauty sinks in to our thought life and produces a higher level of thinking. It elevates our mind. It provides refreshing relief, which in turn provides creativity, renewed hope, and energy to press on with daily goals.

What’s Past has Passed

When people want to be offended with you they will recall your past mistakes/missteps. It will be a remembrance waterfall of “past wrongs and offenses” pouring in your direction. But the past has passed. It is a new day, and each new day must begin with self-forgiveness. Don’t let people who are annoyed with you dictate your future and torment your present. You direct your future by influencing your decisions with healthy thoughts about yourself today. A helpful goal might be to stay away from negative people and personal negative mindsets.

Impression

To grasp beauty is to say that you have captured the air. It may be enclosed, but it does not wholly belong to you.  You only borrow beauty for it is fleeting and finds its solidity by impression.

Yet, those who seek beauty find beauty and are enamored by the impression it leaves. The joy comes when we are able to define the impression.

The Water may be Treacherous

“The swinging lantern, hanging from a hook in the ceiling of her craft, cast the dramatic, shifting shadows on the floor and walls, which reminded her that the waters could be treacherous.”

  My friend, there is no guarantee that life will be smooth. But we are here, and life is to be lived, not just viewed. Grab a life vest, find a sturdy craft, contact loved ones as needed, then jump in and join life. Navigate wisely and enjoy the journey.