For every mother who is missing a piece of her heart

A Peculiar Star by Kim Cline  

excerpt from Love’s Indefatigable Aptness and The Monatomic Solid

Dedicated to precious Mark … you left this universe far too soon

He was a peculiar star

Appearing in the midst of a different equation

His luminous spectra should have been as normal as the others

Yet, his increasing power of wonderment elevated and propelled him farther — higher

Moving outside the ordinary into the eruptive variable

Revealing a greater level of rarity

Brilliant flares projected his brightness to an incalculable distance

Dispelling darkness along his path- if only briefly

For the rare cannot remain long in the midst of the ordinary–

their beautiful displays of churning death revealed with a vibrant luminosity

The eventual implosion spiraling upward, outward –

fusing, blending, dispersing new life into the stellar remnant

He knew the distance of his travel would be brilliantly short

He did not complain in the knowing

I have seen him floating in the distant Magellanic Stream

And appearing at the side of the universal Power

The light echo of his persona still pulsates within our hearts

His brightness still piercing our thoughts –

Energy fading as a distant star after a magnificent, explosive show

We continue to remember as we degenerate, oscillate–

throughout the remaining timeline of our ordinary projection

The Odyssey of it All

I am browsing through Homer’s epic tale The Iliad and The Odyssey. It is rough to read.  Well, it is long and somewhat dry.  One line that stood out for me was spoken by Zeus, described as “the sire of gods and men.” He said, “See now, how men lay blame upon us gods for what is after all nothing but their own folly.”

How true of us mere mortals.  We lay blame for  everything wrong that happens to us on everyone else,  and rarely do we take the blame for wrong  things that we have done. We carry the characteristics of the biblical Adam and Eve.

God asked Adam why he disobeyed Him concerning the tree of knowledge of good and evil (don’t eat the fruit). Adam blamed the woman who ate the fruit, and the woman in turn blamed the snake (who apparently talked well enough to manipulate Eve and possibly was the inspiration for J.K Rowling’s Nagini). The snake didn’t say anything because he achieved what he set out to do – cause people to disobey God. Here is the blame game operating in its finest moment.

We blame the gods for the folly from our own hands. I’m learning a few things from Homer.

Redirection

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As I journeyed on my course of life –

I looked back to a littered path of broken pieces – hewn away from once cherished dreams.

What were to be the building blocks of an envisioned monument called “beautiful life” now lay strewn, slashed, bashed, and crumbled.

They were fragments from my entangled emotions and botched outlooks.

Decaying gold was all I saw along the road I traveled.

There were no sunny skies of realized passions – no beating, bright, hearts of splendor.

 

The view was heartbreaking, disconcerting, and unnerving.

I mused upon the forlorn, ashen, disenchanted view and wept.

Yet, in a flash,

A hopeful expectation arose, and my view was redirected.

Now, instead of crumbled debris there was a path that was clear – full of life and light.

I was pushed ahead, farther and faster down the path.

I was maneuvered so deftly away from the brokenness that its remains were nowhere in sight.

My view of the trail behind me and in front of me was clear.

The Light, Power, and Love had moved me away from the evident defeats.

~ Kim Cline 2018

My View

 

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View [vyoo]

noun
  1. an instance of seeing or beholding; visual inspection.
  2. sight; vision.
  3. range of sight or vision    online definition from dictionary.com 

 

“The forest stretched on seemingly forever with the most monotonous predictability, each tree just like the next – trunk, branches, leaves; trunk, branches, leaves. Of course a tree would have taken a different view of the matter. We all tend to see the way others are alike and how we differ, and it’s probably just as well we do, since that prevents a great deal of confusion. But perhaps we should remind ourselves from time to time that ours is a very partial view, and that the world is full of a great deal more variety than we ever manage to take in.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“Always be thankful for the little things… even the smallest mountains can hide the most breathtaking views!”
― Nyki Mack

“If you want to change yourself, you have to change your point of view.”
― Nina Hrusa

“You don’t get to a place by constantly moving, even if your journey is only one of sitting still and waiting. Every once in a while you have to stop in your tracks and admire the view, a small cloud and a tree outside your window. You have to see what you did not see before. And then you have to sleep.”
― Rachel Joyce, The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy

 

Maintaining the best possible mental attitude along my life journey is the best thing I can do for me and everyone around me. That should be obvious, but it requires mental and emotional energy. On some days it seems easier than others to pay that energy requirement, and vigilance is crucial to keeping myself from moving into the “red” emotionally.

In order to stay prosperous in the emotional bank account, I have learned to stay away from toxic people and toxic situations when I have that choice. I work to be at peace with all people whenever possible; but when that formula is not viable, I get away from them. My view of life is my choice.  I choose to think the best thoughts and take in the best view for my life.  KC ’18

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Words as an Inheritance

I believe that words can be passed down through generations similar to a financial inheritance.

Think of a time when you were a  child and you were reprimanded for something you did or didn’t do.  Maybe those words were accompanied with a sense of anger or frustration on the part of the speaker. Do you recall the impact of their words and how that made you feel?

Maybe both, the emotions and the words, imparted something to you, but the words become like seeds that dropped down into the soil of your soul.   That seed opens, and spreads its roots just the same as every tomato seed after it is planted in a garden.  It’s in the seed’s genetic code to take root and produce.

Isn’t it funny, weird, or even scary when you say something and realize you sounded just like your parents? What you repeat is what was planted in you. Your words can create an inheritance in the life of those around you.  They can shape the path of your life and they can shape the path of your children– just like an inheritance.Word seeds_Cline

 

 

Fear

 

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My thoughts on fear are varied and unscientific. I have written short stories about people facing their fears, seemingly defeating them, only to have that same fear resurface in a different event later in the story. Fear is a bully. Fear can be used as a tool by anyone in our life that feels the need or desire to control us.  Fear is a formidable foe if we allow it to incapacitate us. I say “allow it to incapacitate us” because fear cannot control you if you incapacitate it first.

I grew up with fear in my home. The most laughable fear (now I can laugh) that controlled me as a child started when my sister forced me to stay up with her and watch a horror movie.  I had never seen anything like that before. It was a graphically pitiful movie about a “crawling hand” that murdered people. But I was just a 6 or 7 year-old kid curled up on a cold, vinyl couch with a blanket over my head, covering my eyes. My sister was a teenager at that time, so how in the world was an incapacitated 6-year-old supposed to help her teenage sister during a horror movie? What was she thinking? Ha! Fear had her too.  I was psychologically scarred from that movie and became the slave of fear for many years. I had nightmares (when I could sleep) about that murderous hand.

Here is the catch: when I was sent to live with the abusive relative in another state, I believed that I would be safe from the hand finding me for about the first year that I was staying there. In my mind, that hand started looking around for me after I watched its movie.  When I moved to another state, I could sleep for a while at night because the hand had to turn around and creep along the side of a road or through ditches to find me — and that would take some time (Oh, how the brain seeks out ways to grapple with fear. In my situation, elaborate, mental tunnels for escape were built to keep from facing and eradicating fear).  Sometime into the second year of my hellish existence, living in a new place with an abusive alcoholic, I believed the hand was probably close to finding me, and I became a walking zombie due to an inability to sleep at night. The fear robbed me of rest, which in turn caused my grades in school to plummet. It became a rough patch coupled with the abuse that was now perpetrated upon me.

It took me several years to shake the fearful idea that a crawling hand was stalking me. This is when I came to realize that fear is a bully. It mentally beats you into submission  which can beat you up physically. It is a terrible cycle, but it can be broken. I slowly came to recognize that I had authority over my thoughts, including fear-based thoughts. I control what I believe. I may not be able to control a situation, but the beauty is that I can remain peaceful and fearless regardless of what I am facing.  It has taken me a few decades (sadly, too long) to realize the power that I have over ridiculous thoughts and feelings, but freedom is a refreshing path, and it opens new adventures that begin with  fearless thoughts.