Still at the Dig Site Looking for the Pleasant Pool

I admit it. I am using this blog as a self-help tool.  It is a journal replete with my desire to find, assess, and deal with issues that have persistently dogged me from my childhood. But you may have already guessed as much, and in that sense, you are further ahead of my healing than I am.

I find no shame in using a journal for healing. Writing is and always has been an outlet (see older posts) where I have explored the deep caverns of disillusionment, pain, mistakes, etc.

 I did recently find a psalm for this new year that has brought some light to my quest and given me a reason for continuing to pursue my self-help goals.

“Even when their path winds through the dark valley of tears,

They dig deep to find a pleasant pool where others find only pain.” 

— Psalm 84:6 The Passion Translation

Like a light bulb that is turned on out of necessity, while at the same time temporarily blinding the eyes that were previously in the dark; this psalm speaks to me and helps me to understand why I so often dig in the muck of the past. I am looking for the pleasant pool.

I have found pain in this quest, but in the digging I have discovered valid reasons for the question why, pinpointed mistakes, and recognized stupidity along with gaining knowledge about raw humanness.

It is still a journey. It is still an excavation. I am still at the dig site looking for that pleasant pool. Others may have been on that same path and felt that the pain was more than they could handle. I am sorry that they only found the pain. A word of advice that I would give is to press on past the pain and find that pleasant pool, for later in Psalm 84 it says, “They grow stronger and stronger with every step forward until they find all their strength in you…”

This desire, pursuit, or goal attainment could be relabeled as an obsession, and to that thought I will raise a glass to toast to a healthier new year. KC2018

Creativity Within Boundaries

It might seem a little odd to equate creativity with boundary setting.  Every artist that I have ever known loved to be around other creative people.  My son is a professional artist and he is extremely outgoing. However, when he is in the zone and working on a project, he tends to move into some inner sanctum.  He puts on otherworldly music and does not seem to be aware that people are moving all around him. He creates a zone by setting boundaries which, in turn, gives him the artistic space to be creative.

There is a creative place in most people and, might I be so bold as to say, all people have ability/creativity that they carry around within them. Boundaries can be a good thing.  Whether the boundaries are mental or physical, setting those boundaries may give us the freedom to tap into that creative place that resides within us. 


Ability defines ability: noun, plural a·bil·i·ties.

  1. power or capacity to do or act physically, mentally, legally, morally,financially, etc.
  2. competence in an activity or occupation because of one’s skill, training, or other qualification: the ability to sing well.
  3. abilities,talents; special skills or aptitudes: Composing music is beyond his abilities.

A word closely related to ability that really stands out to me is realization:


  1. the making or being made real of something imagined, planned, etc.
  2. the result of such a process: The new church was the realization of a ten-year dream.
  3. the act of realizing or the state of being realized.

I believe that when we fully use our abilities, we will realize our dreams. The two are entwined. There are exceptions of course, but anyone that has ever achieved something great, or even good in their life, has used their abilities to do so.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” ― Norman Vincent Peale

“A wise man ought always to follow the paths beaten by great men, and to imitate those who have been supreme, so that if his ability does not equal theirs, at least it will savour of it.” ― Nicolo Machiavelli, The Prince

“We are limited, not by our abilities, but by our vision.” ―Abhishek Kumar, Stardust Family – We Are One!

“The greatest disability is the inability to take advantage of your abilities.” ―Khang Kijarro Nguyen

“I believe the greatest ability to possess is the ability to find, develop, and promote abilities in other people.” ―Jeffrey Fry

“It takes an open minded individual to look beyond a disability, and see, that ability has so much more to offer, than the limitations society tries to place upon them.” ―Robert M. Hensel

“You are alive here to perfect your creative ability.”
― Steven Redhead, Unleash The Power of Your Heart andMind

Quotes from Goodreads


  1. (Definition from the online Oxford dictionary)
    the action of improving or enhancing the quality or value of something.

“The incredibly powerful and enriching lifestyle of seeking beauty is a humble service of love and healing.”  Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

“Feeling poor? Want to get richer? Find a place where you can watch the sunset and enrich yourself with the magic of matchless beauty!” Mehmet Murat ildan

Quotes from Goodreads

I am still here

Trees in front of mountains.

 Except for the time I spent living with another relative, I grew up in a household full of women who shared one bathroom. To say that there are drawbacks to that arrangement is understated. My sisters and I fought – a lot! Truthfully, it was only my middle sister and I that did the most fighting. We perfected the screaming match, and we should have won awards for some of the wrestling matches.

 During those times of intense interaction, I learned that women can be ferocious when they believe they are right about something. I learned that women can be analytical on immensely deep levels. Sometimes, the analytical levels are so deep that no one really knows what you are talking about,  except your sister.

 I learned how to express myself.  Yet, even with all that expression, I never felt that I was heard. That uncertainty pushed me to devise better ways to express myself. I grew up writing, sketching, and fighting. While it was not the best way to grow up, I am still here, and I am still learning to express myself. 

Re(doing)thinking Life

As I get older, I have found that making life changes can be tricky. They are tricky anyway, but when we get into technology that is considered outdated almost as soon as you buy it, that just gets plain frustrating.

There are too many diversions to a simple life.  Yes,  I mean in comparison to when I was little and everything was an eye-opening first with a younger brain.

I have found that to keep up with everything social, technological, and healthy is requiring more energy than I’m willing to give.

I am sinking into an “old school” mentality. I admit it’s familiar and less challenging, but that’s what I want right now. So, for me today, there’s no school like the old school. I’m good with that.